Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Weird Headspaces

It is really hard to put into words but sometime I feel like I am in a super weird headspace. I don't know if it my depression getting to me but I end up with feelings and worries that people don't like me. I am happy to report though that I am getting really good at nipping it in the bud.

I am not sure if it is the right thing to do or if I will start annoying people but it is what it is. I figure that questioning these weird thoughts will help me from sitting and stewing in my negative thoughts. So in advance to all my friends when I ask weird questions like if you are mad or upset with me even when there are no indicators of such. I apologize.

What tactics do you use to get rid of weird head spaces?

Friday, May 4, 2018

Self Doubt- When You Realize Depression Is Lurking

Over the last couple of weeks I have been worrying that my depression is lurking just underneath the surface. I have had plenty of self doubt and thoughts that I know I shouldn't be thinking. I am terrified that if this depression rears its ugly head it will be way worse than last time.

It is really hard to explain how it is when the depression takes over fighting the feelings of not being liked, feelings of loneliness and the thoughts that I will be alone for the rest of my life. It is not easy thinking any of these thoughts or having these feelings and not sharing them with anyone. I do my best at trying to keep myself busy so that the thoughts are put away at the back of my head and not in the forefront but the moment I just stop and sit or lay in bed at night they come clamoring to the front on my mind like they are in a race.

So in the meantime I will work at keeping busy and creating a life that I will be happy to live. I know it may seem like I am making this to be just a blip in the road but believe me there is no way this is a blip. It is something that I will probably have to deal with for the rest of my life all I can do is keep working to keep it under control and hopefully it will stop being at the forefront of my mind every time I am alone or in bed getting ready for sleep.

Does anyone having any tips that make it easier to keep the depression at bay?

Friday, April 6, 2018

Awesome Friday Vacation Day

Well it is Friday once again and I took the day as a vacation day. It has been a great day all around.
I went out with my daughter to Metrotown where we had lunch and did a bit of shopping. We went out that way as I was waiting to hear from a gentleman in regards to buying a Garmin 10 for the amazing price of $10.

After Metrotown we set off for home and then we tried the new to me Garmin out. It was wonderful and we had a great time. I love being able to spend time with my daughter and now that things are calmer in my life it makes it even that much more enjoyable. Looking forward to many more runs with Katie and also with Tanis my sister in law.

Did you have an awesome Friday?

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Designing My Life

Things have been interesting lately as I am in the serious process of designing my life as to how I want it. Both personally and running wise. I have been for a long time walking with my wonderful best friend sister in law Tanis and over the last few weeks we have been working towards running on a consistent basis outside.

I feel happy most of the time although I do have my bad days. Things are going in the right direction and I have even started a vision board for myself on Pintrest to work towards the things I want in my life. I want to travel and see the world. This summer with a couple of friends were are going to go to Las Vegas and that is what I believe will be the first of many trips.

In the meantime. Relax. Breathe and Carry On... The best is yet to come

Friday, March 9, 2018

Inner Struggles

I have found myself struggling over the last week. I can't quite put my finger on it but I know that there are questions that my critical self is asking and stating that I am struggling to answer.

Things like

-you are alone
-you realize you are always going to be alone?
-what makes you think that anyone is going to want you?

Every time these thoughts are popping into my head the struggle is to make them go away but sometimes it is rather hard.

Any thoughts as to how to help make these thoughts go away?

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Letting Go Sunday Run

Some things that I have never heard discussed is how hard it is mentally to let things go. Whether it be a toxic relationship, bad employer, backstabbing friends. I know that people just simply say let go but it is never that easy.

Today was the first day in a few weeks where I actually decided to head outdoors for my run. It was a little on the chilly side as it was only about 2 degrees outside but it was a good run. I felt energized and ran faster than I normally do on the treadmill.

I used to worry that I probably look silly out there running as I am not fast by any stretch of the imagination but am past that now. I just do me.

Happy Sunday everyone. Hope everyone who runs today has a good one.